What Dreams May Come
by Nesi
Summary: Christmas time is a lonely time for Sandoval and Maiya respectively, but sometimes there is a small star shining even in the darkest moments of time.


Disclaimer: The characters of Gene Rodenberry's Earth: Final Conflict do not belong to me. However, if you'd ever like to give them to me, I'd never turn them away ;) Also, I did not make up the title "What Dreams May Come", it was borrowed from the movie with the same name, and also I suppose doesn't belong to me. No copyright infringements are intended, as always.  
  
Summary: Christmas time is a lonely one for Sandoval and Maiya respectively, but sometimes there is a small star shining even in the darkest moments of time.  
  
Setting: sort of a 'staff (and friends of staff) Christmas party', if you will :) Where? I don't know, pick a setting on Earth, a house, a hall, something like that. There is easy access to the outside at any rate.  
  
Rating: If your wondering why the rating is PG, its because I never rate *anything* G, even if it would pass for a G rating. Its just to be on the safe sife *shrug* :)  
  
-- Author Notes (important, and long) --   
  
Ok... wooo, Christmas in July! ;) Yes, I know its July, and I know I'm writing a Christmas fic... but why not :) No stranger than some of the other things fanfic authors write, right? ;)  
  
Next... We are going to assume SEVERAL things in this fanfic... why? Because my nice little plot doesn't work out if we don't, heh. Those who know me know I'm huge on two types of EFC fanfic: Sandoval/Lili and Sandoval/Maiya, because I totally think that Sandoval with all of Jason's memories should basically crumble and start to fall for Maiya, lol. But that's just me... anyway, here is what's being assumed: (1) This is post-phasing (when Maiya had to join with her counterpart), (2) She never got hauled off to the Mothership, (3) That Maiya arrived in this world close to the end of December, and (4) Sandoval isn't nearly as mean in this particular fic world as per usual (as with most of my work), and all these memories he has of Maiya from Jason are making him basically crumble into *gasp* a Human Being ;) At any rate, things are changing rapidly for Sandoval, and that's where I pick up...  
  
This is stand alone, no separate chapters/parts, but there *might* be prequels/sequels later on down the road. You never know.  
  
Also, for anyone who didn't know, chapter 5 of When Stars Collide *has* been posted.   
  
So, on with the fic :)  
  
  
*** --- What Dreams May Come --- ***  
  
  
Sandoval stood in the open doorway looking out into the night. He sighed to himself as he watched the snow gently falling on the still surroundings. Christmas eve was like no other -- a time when the world nearly stood still. Which was strange, he thought to himself. Early that day, many people were rushing through stores, chasing excited children, and were dealing with the normal bustle of the day before Christmas. But when the stores closed, and the true Christmas Eve began, it was like no other evening throughout the entire year.  
  
He listened to the music in the background. He smiled to himself... //Christmas parties,// he thought to himself and shook his head. He hadn't been to one of those since...   
  
He sighed again, the smile fading from his face. Since he and Dee Dee were still together. He remembered, before the Taelons came, the sparkle in her eyes as they attended the local party being given by their friends and family. She loved the music and the company, but most of all the decorations and lights strewn about everywhere in the city, people's homes... and the warmth that seemed to radiate from everyone. And they would chat with friends about inconsequential things, and dance when the music was turned up, and enjoy the food and the company.  
  
He put a hand to his forehead. Now she was gone. He took so many of those times for granted... like there would always be another one to look forward to, to savor, to enjoy. And now... everything was gone. And it was his own fault.   
  
He hadn't felt this way in a long time. Something stirred within him that he had long ago suppressed... or the Taelons suppressed... but even when it was no longer under the Taelons control, it was he who pushed anything of humanity left in him aside. He pushed everyone away. Christmas parties at friends' houses... what happened to those friends? What happened to his life? Gone in an instant...  
  
But it wasn't in an instant at all. He killed it, and he did it slowly. He had so many opportunities to stop it...  
  
And now what could have been his life was gone.  
  
//Jason.// Sandoval thought to himself, //At least he got it right. At least somewhere, a part of me got it right.// He wanted to cry, in frustration, in anger... //Why the hell didn't *I* get it right!//. It was the thoughts and memories of this other man -- who was a stranger and yet felt so familiar -- that brought on many of these thoughts to date. There was so much about his counterpart that he envied... so much...  
  
"Hey," interrupted a soft voice from behind him. Sandoval turned quickly, startled.  
  
"Maiya," he said, regaining what was left of his composure, "I'm sorry, I didn't see you come over."  
  
She smiled gently, there was something very sad about the look on her face though, "If you stand in the open door way, you're going to catch cold."  
  
He chuckled. Dee Dee used to say that. He had always liked to stand on the veranda, even in the dead of winter, at night and watch the still world, thinking about how the world didn't know he was watching. Or maybe it did, and he was the one being watched, and that's why it was so still. "I'm used to it," he said softly, turning back to the door.  
  
Maiya moved forward and stood closely beside him, "Why aren't you in enjoying the party?"  
  
"I'm not the most social person, if you hadn't noticed," he sad sadly.  
  
She pushed him on the arm playfully, "Well then you gotta get in there and make it happen." She shook a finger at him with a fake stern look on her face, "Nothing happens unless you make it happen." She smiled.  
  
He smiled, still facing to the outside, "No, I suppose not." He turned to her, "but I'm not much for making things happen either." He thought about what he said, and rephrased, "Rather, not much for making *good* things happen."  
  
Maiya nodded. She saw the sad and lonely look in the Companion Protector's eyes, something she had not seen before, something very human. As days passed, Agent Ronald Sandoval seemed to be growing into something more human, perhaps because of all that had happened, all that he had been experiencing... through Jason...  
  
She shuddered slightly at the thought. Sandoval mistook her shudder for her being cold, and put a hand on her back lightly, "Come on, its cold." He guided her away from the door.  
  
She walked back a little bit with him, but added, "I think I might take a walk outside actually, I just need to grab my coat." She hesitated, and then continued, "Would you like to come with me?"  
  
His immediate reaction should have been 'No.' But before it came out, he thought for a moment.. about several things in an instant, but mostly about the subject of friends. And then, some thoughts that didn't seem to belong to him wandered around his mind, ending with remembering what Maiya had said only moments ago 'Nothing happens unless you make it happen' -- He motioned a hand in the direction of where the coats were placed, "I think, that wouldn't be such a bad idea," he said with a slight smile.  
  
Maiya walked ahead, followed closely by Ron, and entered the large walk-in closet to search for her coat. Sandoval plucked his coat off a hook, and noticed Maiya's jacket as well. He reached for it, but as his hand came in contact with it, faint images started flashing through his mind. And voices... he heard people talking. He could barely make out the words.  
  
'It's perfect,' he heard the voice say, 'but what will I do with it?'  
'Maiya will find it, you know,' came another voice, 'No matter what you do with it.'  
A sigh came from the first individual. A pause. And then, 'I have the perfect idea.'  
  
Sandoval gasped slightly as he watched the scene unfold in his mind. When the experience ceased, he noticed that Maiya was in front of him, shaking him gently. "Sandoval?" she said, concerned that he seemed to be catatonic, "Ron?"  
  
Sandoval shook his head and blinked a few times. He looked down at Maiya's jacket, now in his hand, and then looked back at Maiya. To the surprise of Maiya, he suddenly grabbed her hand and with her in tow, moved out of the closet and down the hall, to an empty room.  
  
"Ron?" she asked again, "Hey, where are we going?"  
  
He lead them into the room, and he shut the door. He looked around quickly, brought two chairs close together, placed them opposite each other, and motioned for her to sit down. A confused Maiya took the seat, and Ron sat down next to her.  
  
He sighed and tried to find a starting place. He decided to begin by stating the obvious, what she already knew, but it had significance... "I keep getting these ...flashes," he said, with a look on his face like he had a headache. He was just so confused, "Flashes of memories that aren't mine. Jason's memories... I thought they would have stopped by now, but they haven't."  
  
Maiya nodded, she knew about this, but it had never really interfered with his functioning before as it did just then. "Are you alright? Is that what just happened?"  
  
Sandoval nodded. Then he reached down and picked up Maiya's jacket. "It was strange, this is what triggered the memory."  
  
Maiya looked confused, "My jacket?" She looked it over as if having never saw it before, "Why is that?"  
  
He started to mull over a few things, "You took this jacket with you, from your world, didn't you."  
  
Maiya nodded solemnly. Delving into the past was something she wanted to do right now... on the other hand, Sandoval seemed quite shaken with something.  
  
He nodded back and looked back at the jacket. He sighed heavily and paused. This wasn't going to be easy. He suddenly realized that perhaps, this was something best kept to himself. That he shouldn't be digging up the past. That he shouldn't be revealing things never revealed. Some things were best left undiscovered.  
  
Maiya saw his hesitation, and the look of trying to make a decision was clearly visible; He was torn over something. "Ron, what do you know? What happened?"  
  
He looked so solemn for several moments, frozen there... and then suddenly he smiled. He couldn't help it. But it was probably more an effect of thinking about Jason's world if Maiya had still been there, with Jason alive. He smiled because he could predict the look on Maiya's face in that world, if nothing had changed. The same sparkle that he used to see on Dee Dee's face, like on Christmas morning. The year he had hidden her last Christmas present somewhere in the house. He remembered laughing joyfully as she tried to find it... and smiling when he saw the look in her eyes when she found it, and opened it. That was the way he pictured Maiya..  
  
But it wouldn't be that way. Not anymore. This wasn't going to be joyful, as it was meant to be. This was going to be painful... horribly painful...  
  
He flipped the jacket over and started looking it over, as if trying to find something. As he did, he spoke to Maiya, "You were the type that tried to find your presents *before* Christmas, weren't you," he smiled slightly, still roaming the jacket, eyes fixated on it.  
  
Maiya couldn't help but smile. She nodded, "Yes, and you know it, I know you have *those* memories," she laughed gently, "You know, Jason used to go to very great lengths to hide my presents."  
  
Sandoval laughed, "I know, and somehow you always used to find them."  
  
Maiya smiled and shook her head, "I couldn't help it! I was just so curious!"  
  
"Curiosity killed the cat you know," he turned his attention to the cuff of the jacket. He unrolled it, and looked at the interior. He started to pick at something.  
  
"Yes, well," she smield sheepishly, "I was a very lucky cat then." She became lost in her own world temporarily, hardly watching Sandoval anymore, or at least not registering what he was doing. She was caught up in her memories. She sighed and her smile faded, "I never found them this year, you know." She paused, and then continued in a very soft voice, "I wish I had... "  
  
Sandoval looked up as a tear rolled down Maiya's face. With his free hand, he put it gently to her cheek to wipe the tear away. He was surprised when she leaned her head into his hand, and he didn't move his hand away. He stroked her cheek with his thumb, while he moved his other hand to take her free one. She smiled at him. //He's so much like Jason,// she thought. She could see him in his eyes... when she first met Sandoval, there was nothing of Jason there at all. But now... there he was starring back...  
  
After grasping her hand with his, he pulled his own hand back. Maiya closed her now-empty hand instinctively, but was surprised to find that something was in her palm. She slowly opened her hand.  
  
Sandoval smiled gently, taking his other hand away from her face, "I don't think you would have found this present anyway."  
  
Maiya clasped her hand over her mouth as she looked down. It was a ring... a beautiful ring. She fingered it gently, afraid that it would disappear. Afraid that it wasn't real... She was holding her breath, mainly because she didn't think she could breath even if she wanted to. All the air seemed to have drained from around here. She was caught in her own small world.. a bubble of time.  
  
But it was unable to last forever. Sandoval's concerned face caught her attention. That's why he was so torn... he didn't know how she would react. On the one hand, this was such an incredible thing to have discovered... but on the other hand...  
  
And then, she simply broke down and cried.  
  
Startled, Sandoval moved his chair side by side with Maiya's, and slid his arms around her. He held her close to him as she cried and shook, but tightly gripped the ring in her hand. Sandoval said gently into her ear, "He was so sorry he couldn't give you the stars themselves," he was surprised to find tears coming from his own eyes, as he reached up to wipe them away. He reached down and opened Maiya's hand. He picked up the ring, and held it up so she could see the inside of it, and he continued, "but he wanted you to remember that he would if he could."  
  
She wiped the tears away from her eyes, and read tiny inscription on the inside of the ring: 'Our love, shining forever'  
  
Sandoval took her hand and put the ring on her finger. Maiya's fingers closed gently around his own, and he gave a shuddered sigh as he tried to hold back his own tears, and these memories that he couldn't stop. Maiya sensed his confusion and pushed aside her own twisted emotions for a moment...  
  
"I'm sorry for what you have to go through," she said softly through tears, "These memories. They must be such a burden on you..."  
  
"No," he said firmly but quietly, and lifted her head to look at him, "That isn't true."  
  
She sniffed, and sighed, "You're so sad when you think about him; When you see those memories. I can tell." She seemed about to cry again.  
  
Ron sighed gently, "I am sad, yes." He shook his head and smiled, "But not for the reasons you may think." He stroked the ring on her finger mindlessly as he looked into her eyes... she was so beautiful... and he continued, "I'm sad... because I desperately wish that these memories...were my own."   
  
He leaned his head towards hers, their foreheads connecting. He was grateful when she leaned into it. He knew they would have to be getting back to the party... back to reality.  
  
But, not right now...  
  
---  
  
  
(fin)   
  
  
Afterthoughts (from the author): Ok, I don't want to hear "maybe they had no christmas in her world" or "maybe they had no snow in her world" or "maybe they had no rings in her world" -- use your imagination ;) Christmas stories always lift me up, even if they are a tad angsty, so I wrote one with two of my favorite characters... just wait until I start posting some of my really-weird-totally-mindless-what-the-heck-are-they-doing-and-what-the-heck-were-you-thinking fanfic, lol.  
  
  
  



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